It feels a bit like forever since I’ve written. Couple of reasons for that – firstly, I’ve prioritised any time to Yoga (Namaste!). Secondly, my phone has completely broken and I had no easy access to my blog. At the end of a day sat at a desk, I kinda like coming home and doing some yoga or getting creative, rather than sitting down with my laptop to face another screen again.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss my phone. BUT at the same time, I’ve noticed I’m really in no rush to get it fixed. It broke about three weeks ago, and even though the bag was sent to me at the start of this week so I can send it off to them, it’s Friday tomorrow and I still haven’t made it a priority. I don’t miss it. I don’t miss the impulsive nature towards things that having a smartphone ‘makes’ me exhibit – feeling the need to have it nearby at all times, notifications that ping and buzz to distract me for another 10 minutes and make me feel important for about 2 seconds. Obsession about what I’ll be posting to attract more followers, what’s going on in the world that I might miss, about how I should ‘really take a photo of this for snapchat/instagram/facebook.’
I feel like my phone breaking gave me a bit of a detox I need to just step away from that obsession. Because it was an obsession. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not tech-free or avoiding social media. In fact I probably log into Facebook more now than I did before (before, Instagram was my main obsession!) because if people want to contact me it’s now it has to through Facebook or email. BUT now the apps I do have are on the iPad, and it’s at home, usually in one place most of the time. I don’t wake up and check my emails first thing, I don’t scroll through social media feeds for hours on my lunch break, I don’t stop talking to my friend over dinner to tag her in a Facebook post or take a Snapchat photo. I make a conscious decision every time I use tech now – there’s a reason behind my action, not just impulse stemmed from obsession, when we find ourselves just scrolling feeds for no real reason than something to do, something to distract us from what’s going on (it’s the release of dopamine that makes social media use so addictive – the hormone release is linked to the rewards and pleasure centre of your brain, and you get a hit every time you hear a ping and see a like or a new follower. It’s highly addictive!). Even though I do still use social media, it’s now very little and if I want to talk to someone or share something now, I’m doing it mindfully, rather than wasting my day away looking at ‘whats going on in the world’, (but actually missing what’s going on in my world) and watching the lives of people I don’t actually ever really talk to (or even know!)
I can feel the change. In the first couple of days I felt naked without my phone whilst out and about (that moment of panic when you reach for your pocket and it isn’t there!) but there’s actually only been one time in the past 3 weeks where I thought, ‘Actually, having a phone right now would be pretty useful’, and that was when I was in London having to find my way from a meeting to a station. But I still managed it – by asking people for directions! (the good ol’ fashion talking to people!). Instead of looking down at the screen to guide me, I became more mindful in my walk, people watching, asking for directions, watching for signs. It was actually kinda nice. I’ve realised I’ve become less anxious in general without a phone – not only is the anxiety of losing it gone, the anxiety of everything that comes with having numerous social media profiles has subsided.
By week 3, the things I miss are my music and my camera! I will probably get it sent off tomorrow. Maybe. Might wait till Monday!
In other news – it’s a long weekend off for me and Simon! It’s finally SPRING, it was a beautiful day, and we went to Canterbury to do some shopping and have some lunch. We were only out about 4 hours but apparently that was more than enough for me – I came home and had an hour long nap! Basically, it was a great day off. And tomorrow is my BIRTHDAY! 25, holy cow. I’m spending the day with Simon, and then we are having friends over in the evening and he’s cooking us all a lovely meal.Then we are off to Essex at the weekend!
Till next time folks – I want to write a yoga update within the next couple of days!